* This is a story I wrote a few months back and forgot about

Andy Strewson was a joyless man.

It had always been this way, but those around him failed to recognize his woes. His teenage years were full of angst and vulnerability, but his parents dismissed his behavior. What parent wants to admit that their child is abnormal?. His moods would shift as often as the Midwestern gusts of wind that whipped through their small insignificant town.  Andy was aware of his own abnormality.  While his father idolized grown men in little boy costumes of the likes of Larry Birdman (as Andy sarcastically called him) or Calvin McHale (or at least his name was something like that) Andy paid no real attention to athletics and this was difficult on his father, a man who, like other men, dreamed of playing catch with his boy and teaching him to shoot baskets. This cliché image would forever remain dormant in his mind, especially after they had Andy’s younger sister Clementine. Clementine would someday be lesbian firefighter. This too broke Dale Strewson’s heart.

Andy wanted to be more like his father, but it was never in the cards for him. He liked the idea of his father more than his father himself. When his father was absent, he felt that his presence would be appreciated, but when he found himself in his company he felt constant temptation to mock him and add a epilogue to every word he spoke. Andy was clever; this was his gift to the world. The problem with being clever is that while people have no difficulty distinguishing someone who is clever from someone who is not, there are certain expectations that arise from it. Andy imagined that his life might resemble that of George Carlin or Chris Rock (on a severely smaller scale) who because of their comedic prowess they were always expected to be “turned on” and making people laugh. In a sophomore school project, Andy and his group were expected to tape a 30 second commercial on a specific product. The members of Andy’s group turned on the camera and told Andy to “be funny”. Andy told them they could all fuck off and he stormed out the door. It was the first time any of them had ever seen anything but a massive grin on Andy’s freckled face.  What most fail to realize is that to a standup comedian telling jobs is a profession, not a way of life. A mechanic fixes cars at work, but doesn’t necessarily go home and fix more cars (unless the son of a bitch really loves his carbonators, which is entirely possible). Comedians can’t be funny all the time. Andy could not be clever all the time, despite what his classmates thought. This pressure added to Andy’s general displeasure.

To be Continued.